You know what’s scary? Jail. And you might think that Mexican jail is even scarier than American jail.
Especially if you have this handy little guide (or can buy it from a fellow inmate using whatever you have to offer.) The trick is just knowing how things work. It might be a more fluid, improvisational system, but it is a system nonetheless.
This is a slim volume you can get through in one sitting. Here are a few quick hits, if you’re on your way to Mexico right now with a bag of drugs:
— Your people back home will have to pay a few thousand bucks- let’s call it an entry fee- in order to keep you out of the shit detail. Literally, the shit detail. Just pay it; there is no appeal.
— Start thinking about which of your hobbies you can turn into a Mexican jail side hustle. Actually, it will be your front hustle – you can sort of have a little business going, and you’re in jail, so what else are you going to do? The author was pretty good at making candied apples. Other inmates made accessories (bags, etc) out of trash. What’s your jam? Now, how will you do that in jail? Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.
— If you are a writer, get ready to start writing on your phone. The author wrote this book on his phone and sent it off to his folks on the outside.
See? It’s not that bad. They have parties, you can learn Spanish – there’s a lot to recommend.
One downside of Mexican jail – very similar to our jail – is this:
you cannot leave.