If I could go back in time to my childhood, I would rearrange my entire life – all activities and studies – on a path towards Imagineering. No law of man or nature would be able to stop me: “I want to create Disney magic, so get the fuck out of my way” – 7 year old me.
For those of you who don’t know what Disney Imagineering is, it’s the branch of the company responsible for creating attractions, and includes a vast array of disciplines, from writing to architecture to accounting, etc.. It is also extremely competitive, because for a certain type of person*, it’s the best job in the world and many, many people want to do it. And I – to reiterate – would wreck the lives of all of them to secure my dream job, if I hadn’t already secured this extremely lucrative blogging position.**
So, you can imagine my disgust when I learned that Walt Disney had a cousin named Dipp, who was given a permanent position at Imagineering, just because Dipp had saved Walt’s life once and was now “homeless, destitute and dependent on alcohol.” Thinly veiled nepotism, obvi. Well, good for Dipp. But you know what makes me really mad? According to Dream It! Screw It!, the brand new book from The Devastator, in an uncharacteristic series of blunders spanning 30 years, Disney Imagineering flubbed every single one of Dipp Disney’s extraordinary ideas. This book is a collection of those wasted gems, highlights of a lifetime of Brilliance & Grit from an unheralded master of creativity and entertainment.
Anyway, you can see what a treasure trove this booklet is, though most of the ideas have missed their window. No one is afraid of Viet Cong anymore – at least, not like they are of pirates – so where’s the thrill? Coulda made a lot of memories with that one. Still, you can really see what we lost thru Imagineering’s clumsy handling of Dipp. The more obsessed you are with this type of thing, the more you’ll appreciate the book. For example, say you are an amateur pro, like myself, and just know a ton about theme parks, attraction design, Imagineering and so forth, or perhaps you are an avid listener to such podcasts as The Season Pass or Mousetalgia, or maybe you read books about attractions or parks – you will appreciate the wealth of subtle detail and inside jokes in this well-researched work. And there’s a lot about Eisner.
* Me, for instance
** But I am available if anyone from Disney Imagineering happens to read this, and sorry for saying “fuck” earlier, I can totally control that.
*** See Disney? I get it, I know how it works.
**** Brainstorm: how about a park-wide ARG where kids have to track a variety of animals based only on their droppings? BOOM. Are you not edu-tained?